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  • Writer's pictureNina Bashaw

Why ghosting your photographer is rude. . .

Ghosting isn’t a new term but it might be new when it comes to hearing it from your photographer. You might be asking “why are you talking about ghosting? I thought this only happens in dating situations!” Unfortunately it doesn’t only happen in the dating world, it’s become quite the hot topic among wedding photographers and other related wedding vendors here in the Tampa and St. Pete areas so I thought I’d write another helpful blog post for clients.

Ghosting is when someone abruptly cutsoff all communication without so much as a simple explanation for doing so. Even when the person being ghosted reaches out again they are met with complete silence. It’s as if they vanished into thin air, hence the term “being ghosted”.

So why would a potential client do this to a photographer?

1: It’s the easy way out.

Some people find it easier to just not respond because they feel awkward about continuing a conversation with a photographer, (or other wedding vendor they’ve reached out to ) rather than telling them they’ve decided to move in another direction or have hired someone else. They often do this because they want to avoid confrontation, hurt their feelings, or don’t want to feel embarrassed they’ve chose someone else to plan or document their wedding.

2: Wedding vendor overload.

I get it, there are a TON of amazing wedding photographers to choose from here in the Sarasota areas. Because there are so many options it can quickly overwhelm a bride and groom and they stop responding all together when vendors respond to their inquiries.

3: You realize they are out of your budget.

Here again, I get! I understand that you have a budget to stick to and I completely respect that. But if you reach out to a luxury elopement photographer knowing upfront that their starting prices are more than what you’re comfortable spending, then you’ve not only wasted their time, but you’ve also wasted your own time.

Why ghosting your photographer is rude?

Ghosting doesn’t take into consideration how you affected wedding vendors. We as senior portrait photographers spend countless hours behind our computers not only editing but also responding to emails and inquiries. With each of those responses we carefully reply back and answer all your questions. We don’t have a cut and paste response to each inquiry, we take our jobs seriously and professionally. What’s especially frustrating is when we go the extra mile and correspond back and forth several times and in some instances have a scheduled phone call or in person meeting only to be ghosted. As you can see this takes up more time (and money if we are driving to meet them at a cafe) therefore it’s extremely rude to quit responding when the photographer has gone out of her way to respond and have in person meetings only to be left hanging with no explanation.

I will say that although this does happen from time to time it’s not every client interaction, thankfully it doesn’t happen to often. However when it does happen it’s frustrating because we don’t “get closure” as to why the client stopped responding. “Was it something I said? Do they just not like my work? Do they not like me?”

However, I totally understand if you choose another photographer or have decided due to budget that I can’t document your wedding or senior pictures. I respect your choice as a client that it’s your wedding or small business (if you’re looking for a lifestyle headshot photographer) that you have to do what’s best for you. If for any reason you feel like I’m not the right photographer for you, please don’t feel obligated to book me because we’ve have a few conversations or a in person meeting. Rather I want my bride and grooms, personal branding, and senior sessions to be super excited about having me as their photographer. I want you to have full confidence in me as your photographer!

What we as St. Pete wedding photographers are asking is, if you feel for any reason we aren’t the right wedding vendor for you please just drop us an email telling us of your decision. It can be short, sweet, and straight to the point. We will be sad it didn’t work out but we will respect your decision. We just don’t like being left hanging with no explanation.

Here are a couple examples on what to say when you’ve decided to not choose them as your photographer.

Option 1:

"Hello! We really appreciate you coming out to meet with us and answering all of our questions about our wedding (or personal branding session / senior portraits). It was so nice to meet you, however after thinking it over we have decided to go with another photographer (insert photographers name) for our wedding. Thank you so much! ."

Option 2:

"Hello! We appreciate you answering my questions about our elopement. Thank you for all your help and I really appreciate your time but we have decided to go another direction. Thank you."

If you’re afraid you’re going to hurt our feelings, it’s okay, I promise! We will be sad but we will understand. Just please don’t ghost us. Be kind and respectful of our time and let us know of your decision.


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